Why?

There I stood looking in the mirror, seeing someone that was not me. I saw a very sad, lonely, overweight young woman. You see, I used to weigh more than 260 pounds. Crippled by an eating disorder and severe depression, the only way out was to change my life. That meant eating healthy, exercising and seeking help. My mission began.

I signed up for a gym membership and started working out. My diet changed drastically as well as my approach to life. This was a lifestyle change and I was ready for it. Depression overwhelmed me but I could not let it take over. I was serious about finding inner strength and happiness. The weight started to fall off and I became the motivation for many people around me. It took a long time but I eventually lost over 100lbs. I found freedom through exercise and started to see myself again.

In the fall of 2005 I decided to buy a bike, a beautiful pink Trek 2200 from Rochester Cycling and Fitness. Within weeks of the purchase it started to snow (Minnesota winters start early) so the bike was put away. Spring 2006 blossomed and I went out for my first "real" ride. I came home 46 miles later, beaming with glory! I knew at that time I found my ultimate passion. I could ride wherever my legs and those skinny tires could take me. With the support of my wonderful husband, son, God and friends I had found my calling in life. I decided someday I would be a spokesperson for depression, eating disorders and overall health. Eventually one day I hope to ride across American lecturing on these particular topics as I go.

Unfortunately I crashed that spring (2006) just a couple of rides later. I blew all but a few fragments of my Posterior Cruciate Ligament. How does one rehab a knee? On a bike! Within three days of the crash I was riding my pink Trek on a trainer. With the lovely spring sunshine I would not be kept inside -- I parked my trainer on the sidewalk. I rode my very first century 6 weeks after being released by my physician to train. The week after that, my second century. Endurance riding was is in my blood. The freedom of the road, the smell of the fields, the beauty of the earth, none of that can be taken away from me when I am on my bike.

Season two, 2007. A friend decided I was strong enough to ride one of the nation's hardest rides. I thought he was insane but I said sure and that day I signed up for Colorado's Triple Bypass. The event consists of over 10,000 feet of climbing in 120 miles over three mountain passes. From my crash I developed many fears: heights, speed and groups as well as feeling out of control. Somehow I needed to conquer these fears because I would be riding high and descending at speed along with 3600 fellow riders. I finished 90 out of 120 miles of TBP 2007 including crossing the continental divide. I did not cross the finish line due to dehydration from an illness the prior week but that's OK, I found the magic of the earth and the miracles of life and how those can be brought to me through my bike. I can never drive the mountains again, it must be witnessed on a bike. Absolutely magical.

Season three, 2008. I had overcome my fear of riding with a group and found the passion of riding fast with the guys! Oh my, the freedom to fly! To be a woman riding strong next to men, that was a dream. The dream was worth every drop of sweat put into it. The sound of the wheels, the whirl of the chains, the occasional click of a changing gear and the unity felt within a group of riders, absolutely beautiful. I felt the power a woman can hold. These are feelings I had never experienced before but I found them on my bike. My husband tells me after a group ride I come home glowing. I do glow. When you are working that hard there is no depression, there is no eating disorder, there is only the passion of the wheels. I accomplished a lot that year. May saw my longest ride, a 200k brevet in Colorado and I rodeTBP again, this time to the finish line. The year ended strong.

Season four, 2009. In May I will ride the Great Western Bike Rally in California and I will ride TBP again, this time for speed!

I have lost over 100lbs and have kept it off for seven years. It has been a very long journey in a very short amount of time. I have experienced the magic of the earth and the beauty of friendship through my bike and my hard work. Someday I will spread my story of weight loss along with depression and eating disorder recovery across the nation and let everyone know life is possible no matter what as long as you have faith and never give up. This is something I have wanted to do for a very long time. This is the story of why I ride but it's a story that is incomplete. Why? Because I continue to ride.