"Eternal Sunshine for a Spotless Mind."

I bought a new bike. I had it built and in 4 days I broke it down and packed it up. We, the bike and I, were headed for CO. ( I must name her. I like the name Tangerine. There is a character in a movie I like named Tangerine. She is one determined, eccentric challenging woman that won't let anyone get in her way. Only prob, my bike is orange and black, that makes my name for her rather lame don't you think?)

The CO trip..... I left to do my first brevet, 200k, Horsetooth and Beyond Brevet with Zen. It was put on by RMCC, Rocky Mountain Cycling Club, to which I am now officially a member. That makes me so cool! Don't you want to be just like me?

This brevet was hard! Three months into training I went from 1,200ASL to 7,800ASL with my longest ride of the year being 64 miles or so. This was a 124 mile ride. (Can we say STUPID?) Oh hell, what's another 60 miles and 10k feet of climbing gonna do to me, hurt? HA! It was just another tour de porta potty in CO and a few 18% climbs. Nothing to whine about.

We, Zen and I, made each check point and finished in time. I was very pleased with our ride time but once again very disappointed in total time. You see, I have some "issues" with my intestines. We spent a lot of time off bike and in "bathrooms". Needless to say, we FINISHED in the dark, LAST but we finished.

This flat lander went to elevation and kicked some ass in the mountains. Ya know what? I ALWAYS kick ass in the mountains! My friend claims I climb better than he does. He doesn't know it but he's full of shit. I don't climb better, I just get real mean and want to be done with it. Maybe I ride on because I don't want to hear the huffing and puffing of another hurting cyclist OR maybe I don't want that cyclist hear me hurting. That would make me human wouldn't it? Either way, both of our huffing and puffing is a reminder to me that it's painful and it's just easier to do it alone, I guess.

(Flashback of climbing with someone in town.............

I sit and spin up Genoa and I hear a flippin freight train behind me. Skinny little Blondie stands up and flies by me. She sounds like she is going to die but does she, no, she rocks instead! Her huffing made me realize that this climb sucked and due to my lack of mental toughness with others around, I shoot myself to the ground and I slow down. "Screw it!" I thought to myself. "Everyone can wait for me at the top but dammit, it's not going to be me that's hit puke zone and exhausted when I get there!" :P - end of side story.)

The rest of the CO trip was good and now I am back in the land of wind, rain and gloom. Why the hell do I live here? Three reasons, work, doctors and the bike shop. Maybe lame reasons to some of you readers, HA, that states there are readers.... anyway, don't want to explain.

I've been training hard. I'm exhausted. My LT has dropped therefore my training has sucked. New zones given to me. Next week we will see how performance goes.

This week I raced with the boys, one of which I am positive did not appreciate me being there. F him! To get strong and fast you need to push your limits. Pushing my limits means racing with the boys. Forcing me to do 25plus mph pacelines. Do that after a day before of 1300 cals (also including interval training), that day lifting heavy weights for 2 hours with high reps (also no nutrition) NOT COMPLAINING just stating fact, having a child MIA and looking all over the town for him and then not getting nutrition in, I think I did pretty good on the ride. I knew I was going to end before they did. I knew a bonk was coming but I chose it. I dug my own grave and I was going to bury myself on my own terms. That means, no favors. I didn't ask for favors. I clearly stated that if I dropped, and I knew I would, to let me drop. No sweep! It's not my fault that people decided to help me. I appreciate the help, it was very kind indeed, but their ride was ruined by me. I bonked. I couldn't even call it a "ride" back. I crawled.

First group ride of the year, a success! I was basically told to not join again, to ride in the "right" group. At least that's how I interpreted it. I also interpreted things such as having bought a bike that will soon be sold in Wal-mart.....

Some day my ass won't be as large as it is now. Some day I will kick so many people's asses on the bike and they won't even be able to come close to keeping up. Some day I will enter a race and shock the hell out of myself. Some day I will have the balls to do a town TT because I won't care what others think. Some day I'll get calls because someone will want to ride with me because I am fun to ride with and make them laugh. Some day I will smile again. Some day I will learn to live now, not in the future or the past. But, this is not that "some" day. Today is......

............Yet another happy entry from me.

One last thing, I am a nice person and I can make people laugh. I just wish those people lived here. And I wish I wasn't suck a bitch to them.