Hidden Treasures

Yesterday was a great day!

I spent a lot of time conversing via emails with a friend. All on various topics. I love being put in a place to think, reflect and share. I really enjoyed these conversations and am very thankful for those moments. I am also thankful that this friend enjoyed talking to me too and found my words interesting.

I have a couple friends that really seem to understand me. One I rarely have to explain myself because he already knows what is ticking in my brain before I can say it. He is patient and gives me time to express my feelings and when I am ready he knows exactly how to talk to me about them. I'm very lucky to have someone understand "me" so easily. Either he has some super natural talents or is my biological long lost twin brother, the kind of brother I never head. None the less, he is there for me.

I have a son who is wonderful to me. Not unlike many women, I dislike many parts of my body. There happens to be one part in particular, my stomach. You all know I have lost over 100lbs and unfortunately I have the scars to show it: loose skin. I hate my stomach. Anyway, I was wrestling around with my son and he put his hand on my stomach and I reacted quickly saying to not touch that. He looked at me oddly. I explained that I dislike my stomach and don’t really like people touching me there. He was understanding but then said to me. "Mommy, why? You are beautiful. You should know that God made you the way you are on purpose, just the way you are. He loves you and you should be thankful for what you have. You are so beautiful. I think you are beautiful, Dad thinks you are beautiful and God thinks you are beautiful, just the way you are". You can imagine how that made me melt and humbled me. An 8 year old should never be belittled, they are very wise and very honest. Their words should be heard just like everyone else.

I have a wonderful husband. He's patient, kind, loving and he cares. I do battle a Warcrack issue but over all the years I need to realize that's pretty minor, or is it? hmmm, I guess should talk to him about that. It does create some pain. Needless to say, he loves me for who I am. His famous quote, "If I wanted to marry someone that would cook and clean, I wouldn't have married you!" Some think that's horrible, I think it's honest and true and am grateful that he has that love for me. I wonder if there would be more love if the house was spotless...na...

I have some incredible talents I take advantage of or just sit on. Recently I was asked to teach a neighbor's child piano. I am not sure what to do. I could start teaching again. I love the little kids and watching them grow. I really should be singing again. I am not boasting here but you know, man can I sing. I thought it was all lost after so many years off but I tried about a month ago to find that of course I am rusty but no where near what I thought I'd be. I had convinced myself I was done, too old, voice gone to pot etc. Not true, I've got the goods!

Recently we had to have a diseased 60 year old tree cut down. It was on the boulevard. This tree was like the "Tree of Life". I used to watch it all summer, I would see it showing signs in the fall and what's coming around the corner. I would see it dead through the winter but then the beautiful signs of life would arrive. Regrowth, hope and renewal. There is nothing better after a long nine month MN winter than to see buds growing on a tree.

Well that tree is gone. A new tree has been planted in it's place. It's small,fragile and vulnerable. I'll never see it as the other tree was but at least I can nurture it and watch it grow. As I look out the window now at the gloomy, rainy and cold day it's standing there saying to me, "Tiff, get to know me, I'll be here for you for many years to come. I'll show you new life just as the other one did."

Being that I am the female cyclist in the house I can put my bike wherever I desire. I don't know how many men can get away with their bikes being placed leaning against the china cabinet all year long, but I can. Anyway, there she is. She looks out the window and knows that I'm not going to take her out today in this weather but she also knows that this last spring and summer she had some great times. I took her to Colorado in May and in July. We kicked some butt up the mountains and hauled ourselves over some great distances. I hated her sometimes. Well actually, I didn't hate I just needed a bit of space on those long rides. My friend laughs at me. There are times on long challenging rides where I just need to get off my bike and walk. It usually happens only once during a long mountain ride. My friend looks at me like "What the heck are you doing?". I just tell him, we need some space and to not worry. I'll get back on my bike and it won't take long. I don't go far because it's harder to push a bike up a mountain than to ride one, but I just need that space, to unclip, to separate. It's not about fatigue, it's about space. It's like stopping an argument and walking away before it begins. Once I'm back on, there is a feeling
of refreshment. So there she sits leaning against the china cabinet. She may be resting now but she knows there is so much opportunity in the future. So many places to explore, good times to be had, memories to be made and new people to meet.

What is this all about? It's about being thankful for what we have. I started this post by saying "Yesterday was a great day!" It was but it wasn't. I was down. I knew all was good in my life but I just couldn't feel happy. I tried to feel happy. I thought of happy things. I kept going even though I just wanted to take a nap. I even got out on a ride, albeit a "Smarties" ride, it was a ride. I breathed fresh air. I did something healthy for myself. Not only was that good for me but a good example for my son. I thought of all the things I had that others do not. I realized how lucky I am but still, not happy.

Maybe in time I'll find that happiness. I don't expect miracles overnight and I expect a lot of hard work in the meantime, but I hope. I especially hope my words can do something for you. Life is full of a lot of little riches. Sometimes we need to stop to see them. They may be hiding behind the door, or they may be staring you in the face, but stop and listen.

What are your little riches? Listen to your heart, look with your eyes and go find your hidden treasures.